This reason is mostly a long term one but it has a lot to do with my parents divorce.

You know how there is usually someone to blame for it not working out? It just hit me that it wasn’t either of my parents’ fault that they split, they just fell out of love. They had me and then they had my brother and then BAM the love just disappeared into thin air.

They never talk about it to me and at this point I would imagine that they would since I’m 20 years old, so it’s not like they have to keep much secret from me anymore I can handle it, especially because this all happened when I was seven, so I pretty much grew up with them apart. 

I’m kind of hoping there’s some deep dark secret or something that comes out someday because I never really felt like that was the whole story. Maybe I just don’t want to accept that their reasoning was just really boring and not exciting like you see on TV where the dad is cheating or the mom is sick of the abuse and escapes with the kids and changes her name. 

If their “reasoning” is the real reason as to why they split, that scares the shit out of me. Especially with divorce rates in this day and age. I’m terrified that I might fall out of love. That I may buy the perfect house with the white picket fence and have children and everything is all smiles for about three years and then it just…ends. I don’t want to invest myself into something that will just one day disappear. 

I don’t want to be….and I wholeheartedly refuse to be my parents. I don’t want to follow in their footsteps and mistakes. I just hope I don’t jinx myself or anything.